New Year’s Resolution: ‘Making My Emotional Healing First’
By Contributor Suzette Hinton|
It’s hard to believe that 2012 is almost done. Many of us are contemplating what our New Year’s resolutions will be. For some, it will be to shed the extra pounds put on during Thanksgiving and Christmas. For others, it will be to get their finances in order. Anything to make your life better or to help you feel better is a worthwhile goal but have you considered putting at the top of your resolution list your emotional health? So many times we list symptoms but don’t come close to the root cause.
So why do we focus on symptoms and not healing the emotion?
Just this past Sunday, I got a different take. The speaker said, “your mind might forget but your emotions always remember.” Think about it. Generally, we don’t realize how broken we are until something significant happens. We become parents. We get married. We get the promotion.
Our emotional memory might go back even earlier. Else, why would a baby who has been molested but has no memory of it grow up with issues like someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Why would a man who has no recollection of his parents ever fighting grow up to beat his own wife? Why?
There is a story in the Bible about Mephibosheth who, when he was but 5 years old, was dropped by his nurse as she ran to hide from an enemy. She meant well. But in her own desperate attempts to save him, she dropped him. It was a nasty fall, so bad in fact that Mephibosheth was lame for the rest of his life. Moreover, this young prince had to live in exile for his protection. So he grew up crippled and isolated.
Perhaps you were dropped. Maybe you’re the baby who has no recollection of being molested. Or maybe you’re the man who can’t remember the knock down drag outs his parents had while he laid cooing in his crib. Maybe you were forced to grow up quickly by circumstances not of your making. Maybe your soul cried for help but no one came to its aid. You were dropped. You were dropped and your soul has carried the memory ever since.
Lest you should sink further into despair, let me tell you the rest of the story. Many years passed. Mephibosheth’s entire family was wiped out in battle. Now occupying the throne of his father and grandfather was a new King, King David. Unknown to Mephibosheth, this king was very close to his father, Jonathan. One day, the King inquired if any of Jonathan’s family were still alive for he had made a pact with Jonathan years before that they would love each other and take care of each other’s families. Since Mephibosheth was not aware of any of this, when the King summoned him out of hiding, he was afraid.
Imagine this now young man anticipating what was to happen to him. After all the years of exile and fear, he is now face to face with a threat his soul remembers with no where to run and no where to hide. Now imagine how Mephibosheth felt when King David greets him warmly, tells him of his love for his father, invites him to live in the palace and to eat at his table. On top of that, the King gives him the land belonging to his father and grandfather. Mephibosheth is restored to his Kingly heritage yet he is crippled. There was no way he could take care of that many acres of land. Even this was taken care of. The servants of his father and grandfather stepped up and said they’d take care of the land for him.
What this says to me is this. You are not defined by what happened to you. Hear me. You are not defined by what happened to you. Mephibosheth was a prince all the time. Crippled, but a prince. Exiled from the palace, still a prince. You, my friend, are a survivor. You are nobody’s victim. You made it. Might not have been pretty, but here you are. You lived to tell the tale. True, your emotions hold memories that get triggered when you feel threatened. But here’s the good news. Emotions can be healed. They can. And once those emotions are healed, you’ll find out you are powerful beyond measure.
Do this: put at the top of your New Year’s resolution list MY EMOTIONAL HEALING. Stop going from New Year to New Year trying to fix symptoms but neglecting the cause. Stop thinking that you can fashion a new mask that’s smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough to cover your insecurities. Heal the soul and you’ll heal the symptoms.